I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
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Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She's just so happy...and so naked.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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