I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
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I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
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idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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