ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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