I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
