Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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