He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
im holly from the hills drunk
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
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Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You pole danced in your parka.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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