Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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