yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
