I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Life is so much better after having sex.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
