Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
