Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
