a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
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In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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