No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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