You smell like stripper and shame
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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