I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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