You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
