I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
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I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
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you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters