Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
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Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
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And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.