Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.