im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.