I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Dating After Heartbreak
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.