mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.