i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
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Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
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Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.