Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
