Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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