That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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