Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
should my penis look like a turkey
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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