Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I fill condoms, not promises.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
