kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
