I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
