Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
