do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Randomize
