she was so not down for the gang bang
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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