Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
