Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
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