my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
