i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
