At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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