nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
it was like eating out sand paper
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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