haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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