He asked me if I "almost moaned"
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I think your dad took our porno
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
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