Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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