Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize