I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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