i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
