:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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