my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
and you fell through a lawn chair
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
