I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
