I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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