I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
