hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
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I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
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SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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