i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
