i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
