hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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