i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
