...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
