Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
