Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
