I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
