i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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