She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
