shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
