i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
