I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
