Don't you send me to vm
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
